Sleepless In….Minneapolis?

So here I am once again.  Awake, laying in bed listening to the dog snore and hoping I don’t wake the lady up.  This is the time I think the most.  During the day I usually find a way to keep busy and keep myself focused on the now, but at night, my mind wanders.  I used to spend a LOT of time worrying about the future.  I would sit in the van/bus and just worry myself sick about who I was, and what I was doing with my life.  I will say that I have finally learned to relax and take things day by day.  Yes, of course I don’t want to end up alone or becoming so good at Halo that it should be deemed unhealthy, but I have finally found a balance.  It feels nice…

I was hanging out with Ben the other day and we both started talking about how good it felt to be on the other side of things for once.  I am talking in regards to tour and the touring lifestyle.  Now don’t get me wrong, I miss playing music and being able to play a rock show every night, but it is refreshing and ultimately good for me to step back for a while.  I have been to a few shows since the end of SIL and I can honestly say, I have never even noticed half the shit I saw go down when I was on the road.  The constant drinking, the obvious insecurities and egos in the room, and of course the endless competition for tour-tail.  It blew my mind to see how some people act in this environment.  I was shocked because, the lack of responsibility and pride just blew my mind.  I feel like spending so much time on the road and away from my family and loved ones made me numb to it.  The drinking/drug abuse, the infidelities, the constant battle for attention- I hadn’t even noticed it until now.  And yes, obviously I used to take part in the “game”, but now that I see it from an outside perspective, my view has changed.  It isn’t normal.  It isn’t all for fun.  It isn’t about the music.  Call me old or tightly wound, but it was just sad.  Not only should the young women at these shows have a little more pride and self control, the guys should too.  Come on guys, show some respect, show some dignity.  Be a gentleman.  Yes, I used to be an asshole.  I played my part in all the immature shit.  But seriously… Young people need to have some kind of standards.  If a girl is falling over at the bar, don’t try to kiss her.  Get her a fucking cab!  If your buddy is hitting on a girl you “wanted” for the night, let it go.  Don’t let a failed attempt at a one night stand piss you off and ruin your night.  People just need to realize what is appropriate in life and apply that to tour.  Because if that kind of behavior isn’t acceptable when your family, friends, gf/bf is around, it shouldn’t be at any place or time.  

Sorry for the rant.  I think people just need to grow a pair and have some self respect.  It isn’t cool to be a drunk.  It isn’t cool to be a player.  And most importantly- it isn’t cool to be an asshole.  

-k